Posts

Korean Gamble

Image
How on Earth did I end up on the other side of the planet? It’s quite simple, really; I had to flee Finland because the electric company’s creditors were banging on my door and I had no money to pay my bills. So I borrowed money from a loan shark, bought a random plane ticket, and ended up in Seoul, South Korea. I’m sitting in a local subway station, writing my book, unable to afford a hotel room for the night. It’s fine, really; in fact, this is actually a rather nice place to work, although it certainly doesn’t hold a candle to my manor. But here, nobody knows me or cares one bit about me, so my undisturbed lonesomeness is guaranteed… Man in a Suit: Excuse me, may I have a moment of your time? O.G. Ghostwriter: Huh? Man in a Suit: I’d like to offer you a wonderful opportunity – O.G. Ghostwriter: Listen here, buddy, or should I say Mr. Suit? Don't you see that I’m sitting here alone? I do not want any company. I’m also not interested in anything you’re trying to sell me. See this ...
2 comments
Read more

Exercise Your Immortal Mind

Image
In a rental flat within a towering block there lived an author… and this particular author is fed up with the whole situation! I long to return to my gloomy manor, but I need to accumulate more savings to cover its electricity bills. The noises coming from the neighbouring apartments make it nearly impossible to concentrate on my writing, so I have packed my writing scrolls and quill and ventured out in search of a peaceful study. My irritating upstairs neighbour is a gym rat. When he was doing his interval training in our apartment building’s stairwell, I snatched the key to the gym he frequents. I’m heading there now. It’s midnight, so I presume I can work there in peace; even rodents need to rest sometimes... And here I am, opening the gym's door and voilà ! Let the literal grinding begin!  The gym! A windowless torture chamber deep underground, where lost souls willingly torment themselves, with frightful instruments of agony. The very air is saturated with the stench of desper...
4 comments
Read more

The Ghostwriter of Christmas Past, Present and Future

Image
Dashing through the snow, in a one-horse open sleigh My electricity bills just won’t go away! The jobs I’m forced to do won't make my spirit bright; This heavy debt I’m in will haunt my sleep at night!  Time flies, and it's December again, which means yet another pile of bills is due. Money is tight, so this month I have to churn out Christmas cards for all those who won't bother to write their own Christmas cards. Bah, humbug does not even begin to describe how I feel about this whole ordeal!  I'd much rather retreat to my own peace and quiet to continue writing my latest magnum opus, "The Lord of the Ghosts-writings". It’s a vast book, complete with a map, plenty of my own drawings, and a self-created ghost language with detailed grammar. It’s appended by my epic "The Eyemarillion", a spectacular tale of how I hunted for a new monocle in various optical establishments.  I was forced to move into a rented apartment after the power company cut the el...
2 comments
Read more

The Nightmare Before Halloween

Image
What a night! Drizzle and despair, death and desolation! Darkness has fallen over the land, and October has driven everybody indoors to whine and complain about the weather. The terrible weather suits me just fine, for I’ve never felt more unalive!  A good day, in short. No external writing assignments in sight, and I’ve also unplugged my fax machine, so I can continue writing my latest novel in peace. This time, I'm trying a stream-of-consciousness technique. The working title of the book is “Ghost of the Cloth”. It’s a riveting story about a young ghost choosing a suitable sheet to wear from his grandmother's linen closet while other ghost relatives argue nearby. I'll describe the difficulty of making a choice over a whopping 900 pages. This is sure to be a massive hit! Hmm, let's see... "I’ll tell this secret to you alone, this linen I have chosen will never be my own…” The doorbell rings! Oh, for crying out loud, who could that be at this hour? How do I look? I...
2 comments
Read more

O.G. Ghostwriter

Image
The lifelessness I've led has made me into the grand writer I am today. There was a time when I lurked in the cellars of the Paris Opera House, singing songs and wearing masks, a time when I commanded The Flying Dutchman, braving the seas and bringing disaster with me everywhere I sailed, and a time when I challenged Hamlet to decide whether to be or not to be – personally, that wasn't much of a problem for me, for I once was but no longer am. During my long haunting years I have experienced so much. The next logical step is to write my own experiences into a book, and that is exactly what I'm doing.  Behold! My autobiography, Confessions of O.G. Ghostwriter , a masterpiece just waiting to be written. I shall describe in excruciating detail everything that has ever happened to me. It’s going to be a banger. The quill is sharpened and the inkwell opened; now, let the magic happen! I shall think for a moment. What would be a brilliant beginning for my grand novel? "It wa...
4 comments
Read more