O.G. Ghostwriter

What a night! Drizzle and despair, death and desolation! Darkness has fallen over the land, and October has driven everybody indoors to whine and complain about the weather. The terrible weather suits me just fine, for I’ve never felt more unalive!  A good day, in short. No external writing assignments in sight, and I’ve also unplugged my fax machine, so I can continue writing my latest novel in peace. This time, I'm trying a stream-of-consciousness technique. The working title of the book is “Ghost of the Cloth”. It’s a riveting story about a young ghost choosing a suitable sheet to wear from his grandmother's linen closet while other ghost relatives argue nearby. I'll describe the difficulty of making a choice over a whopping 900 pages. This is sure to be a massive hit! Hmm, let's see... "I’ll tell this secret to you alone, this linen I have chosen will never be my own…” The doorbell rings! Oh, for crying out loud, who could that be at this hour? How do I look? I...

The lifelessness I've led has made me into the grand writer I am today. There was a time when I lurked in the cellars of the Paris Opera House, singing songs and wearing masks, a time when I commanded The Flying Dutchman, braving the seas and bringing disaster with me everywhere I sailed, and a time when I challenged Hamlet to decide whether to be or not to be – personally, that wasn't much of a problem for me, for I once was but no longer am. During my long haunting years I have experienced so much. The next logical step is to write my own experiences into a book, and that is exactly what I'm doing.  Behold! My autobiography, Confessions of O.G. Ghostwriter , a masterpiece just waiting to be written. I shall describe in excruciating detail everything that has ever happened to me. It’s going to be a banger. The quill is sharpened and the inkwell opened; now, let the magic happen! I shall think for a moment. What would be a brilliant beginning for my grand novel? "It wa...