O.G. Ghostwriter

Dear Diary! I am in Korea for reasons you already know. Hanging out at the subway stations has allowed me to focus on the essentials, namely writing my latest bestseller-to-be, "K-Style Tips for Fashion-Impaired Travelers." Here is a small excerpt: "In Korea, the favored dress code is primarily black or white, possibly grey if you happen to be in a particularly wild mood. Travelers dressed in white sheets can therefore breathe a sigh of relief, as wearing your signature outfit will ensure you blend into the enviable crowd of style icons as easily as matcha powder into hot water..." Pretty good stuff, huh? It's guaranteed to fly off bookstore shelves faster than you can say: Buy my books, because I desperately need the money!  Speaking of matcha… I am currently writing this diary entry in a trendy cafe like some chic modern-day ghoul, and I'm just going to say, the cafe business has gone to hell! I tried to order a plain coffee with milk, and I was asked if I...

How on Earth did I end up on the other side of the planet? It’s quite simple, really; I had to flee Finland because the electric company’s creditors were banging on my door and I had no money to pay my bills. So I borrowed money from a loan shark, bought a random plane ticket, and ended up in Seoul, South Korea. I’m sitting in a local subway station, writing my book, unable to afford a hotel room for the night. It’s fine, really; in fact, this is actually a rather nice place to work, although it certainly doesn’t hold a candle to my manor. But here, nobody knows me or cares one bit about me, so my undisturbed lonesomeness is guaranteed… Man in a Suit: Excuse me, may I have a moment of your time? O.G. Ghostwriter: Huh? Man in a Suit: I’d like to offer you a wonderful opportunity – O.G. Ghostwriter: Listen here, buddy, or should I say Mr. Suit? Don't you see that I’m sitting here alone? I do not want any company. I’m also not interested in anything you’re trying to sell me. See this ...

In a rental flat within a towering block there lived an author… and this particular author is fed up with the whole situation! I long to return to my gloomy manor, but I need to accumulate more savings to cover its electricity bills. The noises coming from the neighbouring apartments make it nearly impossible to concentrate on my writing, so I have packed my writing scrolls and quill and ventured out in search of a peaceful study. My irritating upstairs neighbour is a gym rat. When he was doing his interval training in our apartment building’s stairwell, I snatched the key to the gym he frequents. I’m heading there now. It’s midnight, so I presume I can work there in peace; even rodents need to rest sometimes... And here I am, opening the gym's door and voilà ! Let the literal grinding begin!  The gym! A windowless torture chamber deep underground, where lost souls willingly torment themselves, with frightful instruments of agony. The very air is saturated with the stench of desper...

Dashing through the snow, in a one-horse open sleigh My electricity bills just won’t go away! The jobs I’m forced to do won't make my spirit bright; This heavy debt I’m in will haunt my sleep at night!  Time flies, and it's December again, which means yet another pile of bills is due. Money is tight, so this month I have to churn out Christmas cards for all those who won't bother to write their own Christmas cards. Bah, humbug does not even begin to describe how I feel about this whole ordeal!  I'd much rather retreat to my own peace and quiet to continue writing my latest magnum opus, "The Lord of the Ghosts-writings". It’s a vast book, complete with a map, plenty of my own drawings, and a self-created ghost language with detailed grammar. It’s appended by my epic "The Eyemarillion", a spectacular tale of how I hunted for a new monocle in various optical establishments.  I was forced to move into a rented apartment after the power company cut the el...