O.G. Ghostwriter

After spending last night here, in this freezing park in the middle of Seoul, a great idea came to me. Since my own writing is on life support and my ghostwriting is deader than I am, bills are piling up like unwanted relatives at a summer picnic, and I myself am stuck on the other side of the planet, homeless, penniless, worthless...    …why not become a content creator? I’ll write a series about my travels around the world and turn it into a podcast, with photos and videos and weekly quizzes! It would definitely be an instant hit. Ad revenue would flow like water down the Han River. I could also sell postcards and calendars. Yes, my lifelessness is famously fascinating, filled with adventures and intelligent conversations with interesting personalities...   Mr Suit: Excuse me, may I have a moment of your time? O.G. Ghostwriter: Huh?   Mr Suit: You look like you’re living a difficult life with no future.   O.G. Ghostwriter: I do? Mr Suit: Luckily I have a small...

I was wandering through downtown Seoul, minding my own business, when a passerby thrust a coupon into my hand, entitling me to a free visit to a local beauty clinic. Well, as a frugal ghost, I try to utilise every discount coupon and offer I come across, so I immediately set off towards the clinic. I had read articles about Korean cosmetic surgery. Beauty procedures are widely accepted here; they’re practically mandatory. It’s not uncommon for relatives to gift money to young university graduates for cosmetic surgeries. Pretty face, pretty future! My own future is already behind me, but I'd personally prefer a smaller nose and fuller lips over a Moomin mug as a gift any day. Having witnessed this lifelessness for so long, it's time to start investing in my appearance. Maybe if I were even more handsome, I could finish writing my book. Upon arriving at the clinic, I informed the reception desk that I had come to utilise the coupon I had received. I asked what the catch was with ...

Annyeonghaseyo!  I’m still in Korea because, surprise, surprise, I can't afford the return flight ticket back home. I might as well get used to the situation; travel broadens the mind. During these past few weeks I’ve learned a lot about this completely unfamiliar culture, and also a lot about myself – for instance, that I cannot stand traveling! I’m constantly thinking about my next meal, constantly fighting with homeless people over a park bench to sleep on, and let me tell you one thing: when it rains, it pours. So travel broadens the mind, while making you soaking wet, unrested, and hungry.  And what’s even worse is all I can think about is my home manor, and the fact that my ghostwriting business is in ruins. AI has taken a large portion of my old clients, which means the sound of my fax machine beeping is a thing of the past. My own book writing isn't going that well either. I keep submitting my manuscripts to publishers, but they won't touch them with a ten-foot pole...