O.G. Ghostwriter

Players, I would like to welcome you all. You will participate in six different games over six days. The winners will receive a large cash prize.  The location of this place has been kept secret from you... Well, here we are then, playing games for money. Boy, that loudspeaker sure is loud! Everything is in Korean, which is all Greek to me. Mr Suit kindly transported me here, released me from the trunk , and shoved me into the care of masked assistants dressed in pink. The assistants tried to force me into a green tracksuit, but I said no thanks. I haven't worn a tracksuit since the 1982 Finlandia Ski Marathon, which I participated in from my living room sofa. The sheet I’m wearing will suit me just fine.  I am player number 313. There are many players here, over 400 by my count, and they’re all gawking at me suspiciously. Haven’t they seen a great artist before? You’d think literature would be more appreciated among this crowd. After all, the Nobel Prize in Literature did rec...

When I was finally released from jail, I found my old “friend” Mr Suit waiting for me outside the station, shivering in the cold and cursing to himself. Having had to wait in the parking lot for the duration of my custody, he’d managed to earn himself both a parking ticket and a foul mood.  I probably shouldn't mention this, as it is a secret, but then again, I’m just mumbling here to myself and absolutely no one cares what I have to say… As he was berating me in the parking lot, Mr Suit told me in a moment of frustration that he is an underpaid jack-of-all-trades for an anonymous Korean gambling organisation. Today his task is to deliver me to a secret location for some high-stakes games. If he wishes to continue his employment and his hobby of harassing the debt-ridden, he must pay for parking tickets, travel expenses and medical bills himself.  Listen here, you little shibal , I said to him, your money troubles are not my problem. So it took a long, long time for me to be ...